Week 9 Results! (Not too happy)

This week's results are not as good as I'd like them to be.  I'm pretty sure I can figure out what I have been doing wrong, to include not eating enough each day.  

Check it out:

My Personal Revelation Week 9 Day 63

This post is going to be very personal, but I hope it can help someone else find their own personal path.  If you don't want to hear about my religious/personal experience, you can skip down to the meals I ate for today.  

I started going to a Christian Church every Saturday evening, and last night was our 4th weekend in a row.  I did not grow up going to church, and actually grew up not believing in God.  But that is another story, for another day.  

This was the 4th week of a 7 week program where we learn how to allow God to give us a breakthrough in our lives.  The first week, we each wrote on a piece of paper what we need God's help with, and they were hung on the walls for all to see (they are anonymous).  Every week the prayer group meets in that room and prays on all those pieces of paper.  And each week, the sermon teaches us another step to allow God into our lives and trust that he can help us, when the time is right.  

So I know you are asking, what did I write on my paper.  Well, my own husband doesn't even know what I wrote.  But I think I will feel good telling somebody, even if you are a stranger.   

I NEED A BREAKTHRU TO KNOW THAT I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

There, I said typed it.  

You see, my entire life, I always thought I wasn't god enough.  I wasn't good enough to have a nice caring mom.  I wasn't good enough to be the pretty one.  I wasn't good enough to have a lot of friends.  I wasn't good enough to get a good husband.  I wasn't good enough for God to love me (which led me to not believe in him).  I have gone my entire life thinking I wasn't good enough.

Then last night happened.  Last night's sermon was about taking responsibility. The pastor told the story of Joseph, and how his family failed him, his co-workers failed him, and last of all, his friends failed him.  And yet he kept on believing, and being true to his beliefs.  We were taught 2 major things last night:

1.  We should not be controlled by what others say and do
2.  We cannot control what others do and say

Wow!  At that moment, I had tears streaming down my face.  The pastor looked at me a few times and I could tell he noticed.  I felt embarrassed  and at the same time wished I could sit with him and explain.  Get it off my chest. I finally figured out what I have been doing my whole life.  

I have been allowing what others think of me, control me. 

- If somebody doesn't like me, I am a bad person.  

- My own mother said mean things to me, and called me mean names, so I must not be a nice or good person.

- My so called "friends" would be mean to me, and yet all I wanted to do was be their friend.  At the same time I feared them not being my friend, because of all the meaner things they would say and do to me if I wasn't.  How said is that?  No wonder I have a hard time having friends.

- My parents almost splitting up when I was 12, and again for good when I was 21 made me think I could never trust a man.  He will just leave.  I used to pray to God that my mom be taken away from me, and I can just live with my dad.  She was not a good person and I knew my dad was unhappy as we all were.  And growing up thinking you are a horrible person, I just knew that any man I want to be with will also want to leave me.  Why would any decent man want to be with me?  

- My sister never wants to hang out with me, and it just angers me.  When we are together, we have the time of our life.  But its like pulling teeth to get her to that point where we are hanging out together.  She also lives 10 minutes down the road from me.  


Does anybody else see the revelation I have seen?  I have let everyone else not only control me as a child, but also as an adult.  To this day, those patterns continue.  Now that I can recognize what I am doing, I can take action to stop. I am going to try and recognize that control as soon as it is happening, and stop it in its tracks.   

 ______________________________________________________

B:  Leftover Country Ribs and a couple florets of cheddar Cauliflower (the orange/yellow kind)

L:  A serving of mixed nuts with Dark Chocolate (4 pieces)

D:  Homemade meatballs with alfredo sauce and a few florets of green and cheddar (orange) cauliflower with butter.  

Recommendation: Underground Wellness Week 9 Day 62

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days.  I've actually been really busy, especially since I have added the TOPS meetings to my Tuesday evenings.  

I am going to start a list of recommended things.... like books, pocasts, sites, blogs, etc.  

I am going to start with one of the first PodCcsts I listened to that shook my mind on everything I knew about eating.  

I found UnderGround Wellness by accident (or fate) when I had to switch from driving only 5 minutes to work, to 30 minutes after I moved further away from work.  I randomly chose some weightloss podcasts on the TuneIn Radio app within the Nutrition genre.  

Underground Wellness was one of those podcasts that just made me go "say what"? constantly.  

If I were to ever run into him (not literally), I would definitely have to give him a big THANK YOU for changing my life.  So hop on over:   www.undergroundwellness.com 


On another side note, here are my meals for the day:

B:  few slices of bacon, 2 eggs

L:  Leftover ribs (smoked by hubby) with hot sauce and butter; and a couple bites of stuffed ham

D:  I wasn't hungry.  I am noticing that 2 meals is all I really need.  I will talk about this on my weekly weigh in post.  

S:  As I write this post, I am sipping on a Roobios Tea (Caramel Creme flavor) with butter and heavy cream.  I also had a bite of dark chocolate and about a serving of mixed nuts.  

VERY HAPPY DAY Week 9 Day 58

I feel ecstatic today.  Within 5 seconds of being at work, I was receiving a compliment that I look great from a very sweet co-worker.  What a way to start your day!  

An hour later, another co-worker was telling me the same thing.  Both of these ladies made me feel like I was on top of the world.  

I wish I could force people to feel how good I felt today.  Its days like this that make me wish I knew this way of eating back when I was 18 and first started to put on the pounds.  I can only imagine how much more intelligent I would be today, if I hadn't burned those brain cells consuming the awful "food" I have consumed in the past 12+ years.  

B:  2 Homemade breakfast sausages

L:  Romaine lettuce, wild caught smoked salmon, goat cheese, and parmesan dressing

D:   1 Chicken breast, cabbage and a couple chopped carrots.  (All roastd in butter)


I have a picture of me so far...

(Lighting is bad because its dark outside, and cell phone is about to die, so flash won't work)

8 Weeks Completed on LCHF

Week 8 Results are In! 2 Months going LCHF!

This week was very positive for me, and I have absolutely no intention of ever looking back.  This is the furthest I have ever made it on a "diet", and still felt so happy and positive.  I have lost this much weight before, but it was never this easy.  

Take a look at my video and see how things went:

Sorry I cannot figure out how to attach my excel spreadsheet.  I will keep trying though! 

TOPS it is.... Week 8 Day 53

So I did it... $28 later and I am a TOPS member.  There are about 18-20 people in this group and they are all so nice and happy.  I laughed a lot, and it was refreshing.  They play a lot of games to keep people motivated.  For instance, they have one that is going on for 8 weeks.  They each received a homemade yarn octopus with 8 legs.  If you miss a week or gain, you get a leg cut off.  2 winners will be determined at the end and win a little but of $$.  Doesn't that sound like fun?  

They have a lot of other things going on like weekly raffles.  I'm very excited that once a week, I get to surround myself with other people that have the same problem as me.  They obviously won't have the same mentality as me with the LCHF, but it doesn't matter to me right now.  I need to be with people of my kind, and these ones, also make me laugh and have a good time.  

Below are my meals for the day...

B:  1 homemade pork breakfast sausage; 2 eggs; butter

L:  Salad with buffalo chicken, red onions, blue cheese crumbles, cucumbers and blue cheese dressing.  

I actually overate at lunchtime.  Overeating definitely causes insulin to be released.  Within an hour after eating lunch, I felt no differently then when I would overeat high carb/sugar meals.  I felt like falling asleep at my desk too.  Not good!  

I ended up with heartburn too.  :(

So I actually skipped dinner, although my stomach is just now growing for the first time since Lunch.  Too late to eat dinner though.  

For now on, I will not eat dinner until after my TOPS meetings.  My initial weigh in today was on a no-dinner stomach, so I shall keep the pattern for accuracy.  

Thinking of trying a support group.... Week 8 Day 52

I did a quick search online for Low Carb meetups in my area.  Unfortunately, I love so close to nothing really, so they don't have anything like that unless I am willing to travel 1.5 hours every week.  No thank you.

I remember going with my mom to TOPS (Taking off Pounds Sensibly) meetings about 11/12 yeas ago.  What I liked about TOPS is that everybody did their own thing, but you supported each other in your endeavors, no matter how you got there.  

So I decided to look it up and low and behold, there is one at my new church (started attending 2 weeks ago) on Thursday evenings.  Perfect!  I then looked up the leader's email to see if I could find some info on her (like Facebook, etc.) and I actually found her blog.  She has lost 200 pounds!  Say What?  Sounds like I am destined to become part of this blog.  I am really excited (and nervous too!).  

I have to do something, because honestly, I can only talk to my husband about this so much (he cannot relate to my adventure).  He is very supportive, which I am soooo lucky to have.  BUT, a girl needs a girl, with the same issues.  You hear me?  

So I will report back tomorrow night and let everyone know what I think of this group and if I will make it a permanent part of my life.

On an unrelated topic, when I got home this evening after my son's football game, my lights shined right up on an owl in my tree.  Right next to my chicken coop!   EEEk!  He was cool though and my chickens are protected at night.  Can I keep both?  ha ha

B:   2 homemade pork sausages

L:  Buffalo sauce (homemade from cayenne peppers), chicken, romaine lettuce, blue cheese dressing, blue cheese crumbles, red onion & cucumber slices.

D:  Bag of mixed nuts with 85% chocolate.  (I had to go straight from work to my son's football game).  I did not want to go to bed with a full stomach and usually the nuts/chocolate combination fills me right up!

Week 7 Results!

I have to start this post out with a little negative.  I barely lost over a pound this week.  I am not being negative because I am complaining about the amount, but instead, because I know exactly what I did wrong.  
I ate badly 2 meals in a row, and I gained a total of 3 pounds those 2 days thereafter.  I ate at a Thai restaurant and overrate.  I'm not mad that I may have had sugar, since I did not leave ketosis.  Or if I did leave ketosis, I bounced right back into it, without a major effect.  

I am mad that I overrate.  I didn't feel that great the rest of the day because of it, but knew I would prevail.  And then instead of only eating protein, I ended up having a steak dinner with a TON of heavy cream sauce (with onions & blue cheese).  I ate way too much of that also.  For this one day, I lost all control, which is the first time in a long time.  I don't overeat anymore, at least I thought.  I haven't done it since either, thank goodness!  

This next week I plan to go for at least 2 walks for a minimum of 30 minutes.  Me and my basset hound Roxy, both need it badly.  

Now to end my week on a Positive note.  Yesterday (Sunday), we spent the day and night at my dad's for a football feast. My dad takes the dog for a walk routinely to do his business and I decided to go with him having just ate dinner.  While on our walk, we were stopped waiting for the dog to do his biz, when my dad was looking at me funny.  After asking him "what", he said to me, "You look really good.  You have this glow about you and you look a lot happier".  I don't even think I need to explain the feelings this brought about.  I couldn't stop thinking about it, even after we seen the largest black widow in the world (seriously should have called Guinness World Records) and a fox running across our path.  Nothing is better than having the people who love you and you love the most, notice and say something that special.  I hope everyone has their moments just like that! 

In the meantime, feel free to watch my video below where I talk about this week's adventure:

Below is Video 1 of 12 from BBC's The Men Who Made Us Fat:

New Facebook Page

If your anything like me, its easier to keep track of your favorite blogs by subscribing to their facebook page.  Therefore, I have made it easier for you...


https://www.facebook.com/LCHFApprentice 

Week 7 Day 48

A quick run down of my meals today:

B:  Leftover Southwestern Taco Soup (Lowcarbfriends.com)

S/L:  Pecan Pie Roobios Tea with butter and heavy cream (made like bulletproof coffee)  

-- Made me extremely full

D:  Beef Meatballs (link below);  alfredo sauce; sauteed green beans and roasted eggplant.  YUM!  

Meatballs with Hidden Vegetables (LC)

Week 7 Day 46

This one will be short and sweet.  

B:  Leftover chicken breast sauteed in butter with seasoning.  I also put an extra pad of butter on top to melt while I got ready for work.

L:  Chicken thigh with wing attached (cajun spiced/baked); salad with blue cheese dressing

D:  Purple Cauliflower;  asparagus;  chicken thigh


2nd or 3rd day in a row waking up to a weight gain.  I need to really be careful to what I'm eating.  I know the Thai food really messed me up yesterday, but its all good.  IT was worth it.  Yes, I said it, It was WORTH It.  

Every now and then, you have to partake in a pleasure.  I am far enough along that I can do that with a meal every now and then, and know that it will not effect my long-term future.  

On the contrary, I am not far along enough to get something like ice cream from Bruesters (today's flavor was pumpkin cheesecake!!!!!).  That will require a lot more experience than 6 weeks!

Thanks for checking in! 

Week 7 Day 45

Its Hump Day!  

I started out my day good, but didn't pack a lunch (not a good sign).  I ended up eating out at my favorite Thai restaurant with hubby and a friend which probably isn't going to show good results on the scale.  Oops!

I ordered Tom Yum Soup with chicken.  For those of you who don't know this soup, it is made with a base of Coconut milk.  I also ordered an appetizer which is ground up chicken with cashews, a little red onion, cilantro, with a clear sour dressing, served with lettuce leaves to make your own rollup.  I cut up the lettuce and mixed it altogether to eat as a salad.  It was all very yummy, but after only a few bites of each, I KNEW, just KNEW there was added sugar.  Uh oh!  Instead of panicking and saying "screw it" and ordering some dessert too, I just thought in my mind that I will have to eat mostly protein for dinner and drink LOTS of water.  

Fast forward an hour or two, and I can definitely tell there was sugar in the food.  I have noticed that I get this weird feeling with my eyes (almost like I am about to start seeing slightly blurry) when I eat sugar.  I also get this spacey feeling.  Additionally, I find myself wanting more food (as if I didn't already get too stuffed from lunch), and even looking at the donuts and brownies in my office with desire.  Yes, I said desire.  Again though, I did not think about actually doing it.  

So fast forward to the final meal of the day..... I came home to cooked steak with cauliflower and homemade blue cheese/onion cheese sauce for the steak. I should have taken a picture, because you definitely couldn't see my steak ;)  That stuff is so good.  It is a recipe by the Pioneer Woman if you are interested.  The onion is high in carbs, so I have now messed up (slightly) 2 out of 3 meals today.  Grrr!

But again, I am writing this 8 o'clock at night, and still feel that I had a successful day.    I did not truly want to crave into anything bad, and even mentally made a plan to deal with my little setback.  I am also prepared to see a gain on the scale in the morning, and thats okay.  I still have plenty of days to turn things around!  

I also wanted to add that I had quite a few people comment on my weightloss today.  I should have taken a picture.  Maybe I will start doing that in the future.  My YouTube videos definitely don't look like me.  The lighting makes my face look so much different than pictures do.  

Thank you for reading my blogposts and feel free to leave me advice, comments or questions.  

Week 6 Results are In!

Well, well, well!  It's been 6 weeks of great results.  This week's work resulted in a 2.6 pound loss, for a total of 22 pounds!  I.FEEL.GREAT!

Here is a quick summary of this week:

- Quite a few co-workers noticed my weight loss
- My HUSBAND noticed my weight loss
- My DAD noticed my weight loss
- I went for a 1 hour walk and didn't want to go to bed
- I have had no negative thoughts about this lifestyle at all!

Watch my video and let me know what you think:

Exercise for the first time in a LONG time.... Week 6 Day 39

Government shutdown has continued, which means I still have the entire day to myself.  2 days in a row to do whatever I want!  I decided to take Roxy the basset hound for a walk and it was good.  

We walked a total of 1 hour and almost 3 miles.  It would have been a faster 3 miles, but I literally dragged her and even had to carry her 40 pound butt up a hill at one point.  She (and I) will sleep good tonight!

On my way back from the walk I realized that it must be after 2 and I haven't ate lunch.  That has not happened in a LONG time.  My "old" self would have been looking forward to my next meal while making the current one.  So I didn't eat until dinner, which may be causing my problems I am having this evening.  

I have a horrible headache and heartburn.  I haven't had heartburn since maybe week 1.  

B:  2 Chicken thighs sauteed in butter
S:  1/2 Ghiardelli dark chocolate (86%)
L:  Nothing
D:  Herb and Parmesan cheese crusted pork loin with broccoli/butter and sauteed green beans

peace out

A Great Day.... Week 6 Day 38

Today was a good day, considering my situation.  Yesterday, within 5 minutes of walking into work, I was provided a Government Furlough letter and told to go home until Congress can figure the budget out.  I will avoid providing any of my thoughts, as I'm sure you can guess them.

Since I was home alone and had some laundry to do, I got to it!  I decided to try one some clothes that I threw on the shelf because they didn't fit as good as I had hoped, shrunk after being washed,etc.  I am proud to say that I was able to wear ALL of those items and add them back onto the hanger club.  I even wore one of those shirts today, Proudly!  

I than tried on my 2nd wedding dress (the dress worn after the wedding dress on my wedding day) and that fit SO much better than my wedding day.  

Now... the moment of happiness that I have been wanting since I was pregnant with my son (7 now).  My husband gave me a gift that I truly loved on our first Valentine's Day.  He ordered me (from Japan) a black silk with gorgeous embroidered flowered robe.  It is amazing.  I have not been able to wear it, like I said, since 8+ years ago.  I tried it on today to see how far I have come, and I was able to put the two sides together and it covered my stomach.  HOLY.COW!  Although it doesn't fit properly enough to where I could wear it around my son, I am so happy that it fits that much closer that I started to cry.  Seriously glad I was home alone for that.  I have not told my husband, although I was so happy I wanted to call him at work right away.  Instead, I have decided to wait until it fits me exactly as I want, and I will surprise him then.  

Today was a very happy day for me!

B:  2 eggs, 1.5 breakfast sausage (homemade)
L:  Salad made with smoked salmon, goat cheese & asiago parmesan dressing (Marie's).
D:  Chicken breast, sauteed green beans with garlic and steamed cauliflower with butter 
S:  A bite of almond butter and handful of mixed nuts.